A glimpse into a Mother’s Heart.
The alarm clock sounds, but I’m not sure of the time. I do, however, note that it is still dark outside. That sounds silly because I set the clock, right?! No, I actually did not. I did set an alarm clock, but the one that usually wakens me is a little boy. A little boy with big lungs that care not of the darkened sky.
Inwardly I groan. Some mornings, the groan becomes an outward sound as well.
Then I remember the One who neither slumbers or sleeps. He who watches over my family does not groan when we awaken. For He is the lifter of our head.
My heart feels heavy. My arms feel heavy too. For this little boy is not really little. And, all 36 pounds of him is ready for a battle. A battle that I know started way before the eggs or oatmeal was ever thrown across my kitchen floor.
I am now presented with a choice. A choice that will set the course of our day. Do I give in to the temptation to be harsh and pitiful, because this is not how I saw my day? I hear the reasons for this choice stacking sloppily in my heart, just ready to overflow and stain my words. There is one, who seeks to destroy. He fuels the reasoning. He provides ample justification for my ugly feelings. He is ready to rob me and my family of our day.
But, I will wait. Because there is another choice. A choice that sees the battle for what it really is: not one of flesh (or diaper changes and breakfest), but one in the Heavenly realms. A choice that reveals what is truly at stake: a soul. It is not about what we are having for breakfast. It is not even about the fact that everyone knows breakfast is better when daddy makes it (according to this little boy).
I am choosing this day whom we will serve. I am choosing to be on the winning team. I am choosing to place this little boy in an environment where he can experience the divine. No I am not responsible for his salvation, but it is my job to represent Christ. It is my job to show him that he needs to have a personal relationship with Jesus. I can do this by showing Him how I love Jesus. How I have a personal relationship with Jesus.
I make my choice by replacing the ugly feelings with songs of deliverance. With grace-filled words. With thoughts of how Jesus faithfully forgives me. Thankfully, I am not battling alone. Jesus gave me His armour and upholds me.
Today, this little boy will learn how to become a little boy who loves Jesus. As a result, prayerfully, he will then learn to grow up into a man who loves Jesus. His mouth that screams and cries will learn to worship. His hands that throw breakfast plates or hit will learn to pray and serve. His knees that fall and scrape will learn to kneel and submit to Jesus. His heart that wants his own way will learn to seek Jesus first.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29
Today, I have made my choice to come. To take Jesus’ yoke as mine. I am heavy laden but He promises rest for my soul. Even as I wipe oatmeal off my floor and kiss the chubby cheeks of my little boy.